On Casual Conversation
by Pastor Jack Hayford
Recently I found myself trapped by my own self-consciousness.
Wrapped in a pleasant circle of friends, I was relishing conversation
over several subjects which naturally came up. It was all rather
trivial, but adequately profitable. I didn’t feel I was wasting
time, and I didn't feel for one moment the conversation was boring.
But I did feel something.
I felt that I needed to say something that would lead the conversation
at least one rung deeper.
Mind you, it wasn’t shallow talk. Nor was there anything
that wasn't delightful or tasteful. Nothing to fault...yet I found
myself letting it all stop at that.
Please let me make clear that the casual, the trivial, the merely
conversational, the fun, the social--they're all fine. I am not
denigrating casual conversation. But only that is a luxury
I can't afford.
I need to make conversational investment in the kind of interaction
that costs me something. Talk, like money, never bears dividends
if it isn’t invested. Conversations, like business, involve
a risk if they’re going to bear maximum profit.
In the case of this conversation, I needed to take the leap. I
needed to accept the risk. I needed to indicate in some way that
I wanted to talk at a little more personal level...
...without sounding self-righteous,
...without being socially ungracious,
...without engaging in psychological catharsis,
...without coming on as a "heavyweight."
But I chickened out. Yes I did.
I was fearful that if I suggested, “Let me tell you something
that has been very much of a heart-concern to me lately,”
that it would jangle something of the social comfort of the situation.
It wouldn't have, but I was afraid of looking dumb. I was also afraid
I might get a reputation: “He always has to do something ‘meaningful.’”
I don't want people to think my “shtick” is turning
pleasant gatherings into group therapy.
But I do want to become better acquainted with brothers and sisters
in Christ than society allows. I do want to bear burdens with people,
at the points where they are really living. And I do want to gain
insights which only come when we share our hearts...not just our
time. |
Jack
Hayford Ministries
14800 Sherman Way, Van Nuys, CA 91405-2233